Sometimes things that hurt us…hurt us.

Dear friends in yoga,

I DO hope you are all thriving in the new year, feeling content, happy, and well:) In the event that you aren’t in the first boat, know that you aren’t alone in the second boat, and that Caya Yoga has some incredibly supportive options coming up on the schedule for you to add to your current self care rituals.

I’m in the second boat. I’ve been feeling deep, generalized pain in my body/ exhaustion/ temperature irregularities/ trouble sleeping (medical diagnosis: fibromyalgia & underactive thyroid), and now it seems I react to UV rays with hives and rashes, that probably got infected from the overpopulated (and under sanitized?) pools in Cancun (medical diagnosis: sun sensitivity from medication used to manage fibromyalgia pain and possibly an underlying, undiagnosed autoimmune disorder). Mostly, though, my heart is devastated and raw because my dear Aunt De, Allie Batey’s Mom, died 2 weeks ago. Grief. It compounds and encapsulates everything. I have both many, and no more words on that right now.

I’ve heard it said many times “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” And, yeah, okay, I can certainly see where this is coming from—or at least I have been in that place before and do feel more resilient because of the experiences. But, I also strongly suggest that sometimes, what hurts us, hurts us. Moreso even. And a lot of that time we also feel isolated instead of held when we need it the most. If I’m being honest—which can be hard because asking for help is hard—my sorrows and challenges could definitely use support. Especially by those that have been there or are in the midst of pain like me. Not because misery loves company, but because misery needs compassionate companionship. Misery needs to be heard and seen. I know I am not alone, and I am hoping this transparency will enable those of you out there reading that resonate to reach out and/or speak out.

And this is why I may be in the area of TMI for some of you, with my share. But, I mean, WHY don’t we talk about the hard things as much as we talk about the carefree, joys of life? Of course I want to celebrate life’s wins with you, but I also want to hold your hand while you sob, hug you soundly when there are no words, and listen supportively when you need to let it all spew out.

Just another of many, many reasons why having a yoga/ wellness community has been so important to me. Because I know I’m not the only one that gets dealt a poor hand of cards at times. I know too that I’m not the only one that has had to suffer in silence because nobody talks about “that”, or feel alone with that hand and not know what to do next. I also know first hand how valuable the tools taught by yoga can be when my oldest son, Addison, died in 2003 and grief grabbed me by the toes and held me upside down for a while, with some of that time feeling like I was under water and I didn’t know when or if a next breath was coming. Breathing practices and meditation were two things I counted on to get me through. (I wasn’t even that good at it then!) So when I found my way to Yoga Teacher Training nine years later, I knew why I had found my way there. So that I could share what I have learned about the healing possibilities held in the 8 limbs of yoga.

In the coming months we have some incredibly wonderful opportunities for you to use and learn tools to care for yourself. Just this week there are two dates to experience hypnosis and learn self-hypnosis with Destinie Patton, who among other certified modalities, is a certified hypnosis instructor. The beginning of March brings you Yoga Nidra for Deep Relaxation with myself, and the next Chronic Illness/Long Covid Support Group with myself and Allie Batey, RN. Followed mid-March by an opportunity to learn Reiki for yourself at the Reiki 1 Training with our in house massage therapist and Reiki Master Teacher, Lisa Rasey. The next Restorative Yoga with Sound & Reiki will be listed soon as well.

I will wrap up for now, but before I do please hear my humble & teary gratitude for your patience and compassion during the last few weeks of my class cancellations as I spent valuable time with my Aunt De and her/our family and friends. Her last week was a devastating, but oddly special time that I won’t soon forget. She was fortunate to be at home on hospice care, and the doors revolved continuously with people, food, love, stories, laughter, as well as tears. The fact that no one, especially she, didn’t have to do this end of life journey alone felt HUGE. In community, with her, we celebrated her and grieved her, and for me, it made all of the difference.

As always, feel free to reach out for any reason—hjmahler2020@cayayogatoledo.com OR call/text my cell 419-973-0052. Take good care of you and each other❤️

much love and big hugs~

Heather